In the ensuing months, Rihanna's responses to the violence she received faced public scrutiny. Everyone hoped that she would do what most of us believed was the right thing to do: Leave the relationship. When she did eventually leave, there was a collective admiration for her ability to move on, which sent a clear message that violence against women is wrong.
Rihanna is collaborating with Brown again. Some people are mad and disapprove of her decision to let Brown back into her life, especially given the "role model" status that had been assigned to her. Personally, I am not outraged. Before you think I'm a fan of Brown (I'm not), here's my rationale: Rihanna did not ask to be a role model, no more than she asked to be abused.
In the United States, one in three women experiences violence. Rihanna is unfortunately one of these women. Like other abused women, she is being judged unfairly for her relationship with her abusive former partner.
One of the first things people ask after learning that a woman has been abused is, "Why don't you just leave?" While this is a seemingly innocuous suggestion, it really isn't that simple. When a woman leaves and then returns to her partner or tries to stay on amicable terms, she can elicit a backlash. No wonder some people have commented that Rihanna must "enjoy being abused."
I don't know anyone who enjoys being abused. What I do know is that domestic violence is a vicious cycle. Leaving an abusive partner is a process that can take months, if not years. One woman I know stayed in her relationship for almost 25 years before she was able to finally leave.
Moreover, most women leave their partners more than once. Studies have indicated that a woman leaves her abuser an average of eight times before leaving permanently. We cannot be certain, but it is possible that Rihanna is still in the process of leaving. Thus, the fact that she and Brown are working together now after the incident of three years ago is not surprising